Anyways, last night. Yeah.
I’m sitting here doing my laundry, and debating back and forth with you people over the existence of evil. I go out to change my laundry over and put it in the dryer. I’m walking down the side walk, it’s… somewhat late at night. No one is out. About… 50 feet ahead of me I see a critter moving around. I sort of figure it’s a cat, since that’s normally what you see, and… well… it was the size of a cat.
I get a little closer, and the critter starts to walk in a westerly direction away from me. It turns out… this thing is a fucking skunk. Well, I don’t really care. It’s walking away, but I’m kind of weirded out by this skunk being 20 feet away from me. Im just like, “Hey, what’s up, skunk?”, and, I just keep walking, and it keeps walking away. We were just being cool with each other at this point. Well, finally, as we get to where we sort of cross paths, but we are still 20 feet apart, the fucker stops, turns my way, looks at me, then starts chasing after me! I’m like, “Oh shit!”. What am I going to do, but take off running? So, I take off running. My thoughts are… most animals I would probably just stomp the fuck out of for chasing me, but this is a skunk. They spray that shit, and I have no desire to go blind and stink on acount of the damn thing. So I run to the door.
Im not sure how far it chased me or anything like that, but I did make it to the door. Now, as it is, the door between the laundry room and my apartment probably has about.. 200 yards of walking between them. The laundry room is in a basement, and there is a trash can. I steal the lid off of it to use as a shield, and found myself a pole made of some kind of metal. I switch my laundry, and get my ninja groove on so I can walk back to my apartment. I know the skunk is out there… waiting…
Im all geared up looking like a turd, and I make it to my apartment without a trace of the skunk. Which is fine, because despite my trash can lid and metal pipe, I still wasn’t prepared to do combat with the thing and get sprayed. That’s not counting the fact that it’s some filthy and potentially rabid critter.
Anyways, that’s my exciting story for today. Thanks for listening!